omg

i guess i wasn't really thinking, this is what i get for being so open -_-

so recently my aim status has said "why do i keep coming back to you" or something like that, and i'm pretty sure everyone thought it was youknowwho. LOL i realize i haven't mentioned his name when i'm talking about this kinda stuff hahah. okay i'm gonna call him bob. so everyone who saw my status prolly thought it was bob. today gladiator imed me about it and we started talking about things between bob and me. but thing is, my status wasn't about bob, it was about gladiator -_- all these five years+, i keep coming back to him. it's been on & off for years, and i feel it coming once again. i thought it might be over cuhs of bob or something, but idkkkk i'm so confused ! i still like bob nd all, but gladiators just messing this up for me. and i'm pretty sure if bob saw the status he would assume its about him. wonder if he saw it.. :/

peace out, kids
love, lyd :) <3

p.s. today was a good day ! :) thanks allen for the radisrad poster <3 & thanks chan for some soul sister fun after school hehehe. && basketball practice was fun today :D time for homework over the weekend -_-
p.s.s. his name isn't bob. LOL

currently in my confused state again :(
i think gladiator's re-entered my head but i guess in the long run i really don't know what's going on with him cuhs he'll be gone for the next four years and idk if he's coming back..
and the other one..idk..i'm just really not looking forward to tomorrow -_-

it's time

as i said to someone last night, "i've 'unconsciously' made you a part of every aspect of my life". 'unconsciously' as ms. kuo would use it :) i now realize what a big mistake i've made in doing so. i've been trying too hard to hold on to you "as a friend", when even trying to stay just good friends is a bit too much. i gotta admit, you're still my perfect guy ; seems as if everything about you is everything i want. but i can see that you obviously don't want me, so i guess it's time i backed off. why we can't be friends, that i'll never understand. but if it's what you want i'm willing to walk out of your life. besides, i'm better than this ; i don't need to chase after a guy who's only gonna treat me like crap and hurt me the way you do. as my friend said, you "sound like a douche", and i completely agree. i mean, you're actually not a douche, but you are to me lol, so i guess it's time i said goodbye. i don't need a man in my life to make me happy, something i've realized and forgotten countless times in the sixteen years of my lifetime. if you don't want me for who i am, then screw you :) i'll find that special someone somewhere someday, and i know that i don't need you now, no matter just how perfect you might be for me, or not LOL. peace out, homedawg. hopefully we can still be friends in the future.

i hate when people say stuff like "i'm here for you" but they don't let you be there for them. like what are you trying to say -_-

things are so obviously different between us now.

this whole time i thought you were worth it

now i know i was wrong.