gladiator

that movie made alex cry. HAHAHAHA wow

anywho. so there's this guy. we call him gladiator. being around him just makes me feel kinda like YEEEEEEEEE :) he's not the kinda guy you'd see nd think, whoa he's cute or anything like that. but he's not ugly hahaha. he's the kinda guy whose looks kinda grow on you. it's been, i think, over five years now, since the first time i started liking him. my feelings have been on & off. i just hate how he used to like her, nd idk if he still does. i hate the fact that it's not me, & on top of that, it's someone i know, and someone that i've been getting close to over the last year. even since i found out, i feel like i see her differently now. but don't get me wrong, i still love her nd all. i just..i guess you could say i'm just jealous. she's super pretty, super skinny, she's from another state, and the guy i like likes/liked her. even her brother's kinda cute. ayeee, idk. he fulfills so much more on my list than any other guy has, except maybe jason lee. but who am i kidding, that was in second grade -_- i've liked gladiator since i was in fifth grade. but it's usually on then offoffoff then on then offoffoff so idk. i'd like someone during the year, then i'd like him over the summer -_- cuhs that's when he'd show up at church..but this past year, and i think the one before that, he's been coming during the year. i got over him august of 2007, and it didn't start up again til june 2009. i think -_- well, for a lot of that time, i was either with kevin or getting over kevin. so idk. i never even realized until right now that it's been nearly two years since i last liked him. i feel like my feelings for kevin were the only reason i didn't start liking gladiator again. our fellowship is like a family, and we spend a lot of time together. i'm surprised it took so much time for me to fall for him again. but obviously, it happened. aye, i wonder if he can tell.

i dropped abby today D: i was sitting on the ground [carpet] eating a popsicle & it looked like she wanted some. but obviously, since she's five months old, she couldn't have any. she started trying to roll on the ground or something. that's what it looked like to me. i was trying to pick her up so i could put her on the ground, cuhs she was kinda still half in my lap. then she fell face forward and THUMP ! she hit the ground. i was like :o and she started crying, i was so scared. lucky for me, her mom was right there -_- but before today, she liked me ! especially yesterday, i was holding her for the longest time. she only started crying when she got tired, she even fell asleep in my arms :) then her mom came haha. bex seems confident that abby's not gonna hate me. she says abby's not gonna remember, but i guess all i can do is hope so. what's done is done, but if abby hates me i'm gonna cry. i love her so much, angela already stole bethany :(

aiyaahh

peace outt
- lyd <3