hey you

today was, i think, probably, the first time in about a year and a half. i liked it. i mean, it was a little weird at first, but i'm glad i did it. i'm glad it turned out the way it did. idk why or how, but it came so naturally, like we'd never had the problem of not being able to talk to each other. and when i left, you looked me in the eyes, and you waved. i can't recall how long its been since i looked you in the eyes. since either of us COULD look each other in the eyes. but today it happened, and i'm sure as heck glad it did. idk where things will go from here, maybe we'll end up being friends again. hope so :)

and you. every day i want to try. but i always end up not trying. i'm scared of what you're going to say, i'm scared that you really are mad at me, that you're gonna yell at me, and that i'll stand there with nothing to say. i feel like what i feel is exactly what you don't want to hear. but i can't lie to you, i've never been able to. it's been so long, i don't understand why this is happening now. i thought we could look past all of our problems and still be there for each other, always. but i guess it's different this time. idk what's gonna happen, but i hope things work out for the best. i don't hang out with him becuhs i want him. i hang out with him becuhs he's a great friend, and a great guy. i don't wanna be anything more than friends, i just like spending time with him cuhs he's cool, he's fun, and to me he seems to be pretty carefree. i treat him as just a friend, whether or not he can tell. he's not the only reason i hang out with them, if you're thinking he is. jen's over there too, and danny's just so freaking hilarious, i gotta admit. whether i like him or not is besides the point in this situation right now, so i guess you have the wrong idea about it all. i'm sick of all the drama between us this year, i guess it was time for a getaway. i keep making excuses, but i know i can't run away forever. so what am i going to do ? i really don't know. but as of now, i just wanna be friends. just..friends. idk if we'll make it past everything life's throwing at us with the title "bestfriends". so much for bffltd ? i'm sorry.



imy.

peace outt
love, lyd <3